i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
