Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
