I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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