Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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