worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
