This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
