This is not my ceiling
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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