I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize