he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
