C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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