I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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