so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
