I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
