You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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