Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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