We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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