Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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