dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
