You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
