Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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