I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
