also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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