ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
