On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
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In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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