Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
