one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
