My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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