I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
