'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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