hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
