I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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