You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
