Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
