just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
