You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
