i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
