So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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