big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
