I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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