I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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