YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
