I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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