FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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