Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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