i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
