i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
