I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
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