Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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