I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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