BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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