Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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