I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
