i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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