Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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