I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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