It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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