TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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